perspective of raising children today is dedicated to a great number of works and articles.For modern society to a certain extent characteristic of the "cult of childhood," which periodically come into the fight different authors.Among them is the psychologist Nekrasov: maternal love in its sense of understanding is overpriced and in any event able to bring not only benefit, and love, but also harmful.
Is sacred Motherhood
In the first part of the book "Mother's Love" Nekrasov said about motherhood and its social "reputation".The author argues that the "sanctity" said the feelings strongly implanted in the 13th century, and the Christian religion strongly supports such a setup (confirmation - the image of the Virgin).
Meanwhile, many mothers show possessive, selfish and even perverse attitude towards their children.They become the most important in the life of her that, "the only light in the window", the main raison d'être - the attitude cripples people's lives far more than the lack of maternal
Man and woman
happens to the detriment of the relationship in a pair of husband and father is relegated to the background, stop playing a prominent role in the family, as a result, it starts to hurt, or finds another woman becomes an inveterate drunkard.The reason for this state of affairs - the one sung for centuries maternal love.Nekrasov said that after the birth of the child the relationship between husband and wife are almost always corrupt.Under the influence of the public and their own instincts woman puts a child in the first place, it is given maximum attention and care, and yet excessive mother love causes many troubles in life, disease and even death.According to the author, the main cause of premature death of children - excessive feelings of the parents.
Underlying this view is the notion that the world is committed to harmony and in case of misalignment withdraws it as a harmful factor of personality.If somewhere will be added elsewhere have to take away.
destructive parental love
rare works so replete with examples of life as a book, "A mother's love."Nekrasov, for example, results in a situation: normal average family, his mother - a strong-willed, typical woman, the father throughout her indulge.They provide, protect and otherwise pampered only son: give him a car, determine the institute.
At some point, he asks for a more prestigious car - and the mother prepares the loan to buy a brand new "BMW".On this machine the young man to his death while participating in informal races.His mother is living with a sense of guilt, forced to repay the loan for the already wrecked car, which also caused the death of her only child.
recipe for success
antidote to this state of affairs exists, according to Anatoly Nekrasov.A mother's love should not hinder the development of relations in the pair: the purpose of each woman - to develop spiritually and to create their own "space of love."It feelings between man and woman are primary.From this it follows a start and devote more time to her husband.Then he would not drink and walk on the side, and realizes your creativity and help, in turn, his wife fully develop her femininity.This, in fact, the main task of women consists of.
second part of the book is devoted to the so-called psychological birth.The author argues that many even in old age people live in the "womb" mother if not the rest of his days, to old age.The world is trying to correct the situation, using the already familiar methods and to break the shackles of maternal love.Nekrasov said that the world "takes away the mother," that is, it dies.Even her death does not always bring the release of his son: sometimes love is so great that it creates for yourself an idol in the truest sense of praying for the deceased parent.
Nekrasov points out that in an effort to maintain control over their child's mother may use illness.Dying mother of a son or daughter keeps beside him, making it difficult to live their own lives.At this point, the reader may warp feeling evil designs, which says Anatoly Nekrasov.A mother's love in his interpretation becomes a means to hurt their own children at all costs.
How to allocate resources
In the next chapter of the book builds a hierarchy of values, in this case states that there is no right or wrong systems are working and not working.The effective hierarchy for the majority of people with an average mind, is as follows:
directly personality - her interests, free creative growth, talents and so on. Etc .;
relations paired, t. E. The creation of the already mentioned "Space of Love";
children should only be in the third stage;
parents, with whom relations are also quite important;
work, friends, and so on. D. The system of priorities in life should be on the fifth and then the ground.
Any disharmony is fraught with many troubles.In the third chapter of the book "Mother's Love" Nekrasov alone and says a lot about the fact that modern man is too much attention to work and making money.Meanwhile, the construction proper hierarchy of his life livelihoods sure there are - and not because of the mindless slave labor, but because of the disclosure of talent that exists in every human being.
importance of relations of children with parents
The fourth and fifth chapters of the book are devoted to childhood and the relationship with the ancestors: the psychologist writes a lot about the inadmissibility of insults at parents, the process of building good relations with them, especially with his father, who, during childhood and adolescence has been unjustly "pushed "- the lack of masculine energy to provoke failures in his personal life, particularly in girls.He speaks about how important to the aged parents of the "true path" to show how important the relationship between them, and so on. D.
concept of maturity
important concepts of human maturity is almost entirely devoted to the last chapter of the book.It is said that at the time of retirement harmonious person should not expect such a common age crisis, but on the contrary, the role of the elders of the family.The wisdom acquired over the years, should be used to benefit not only themselves but also their descendants.For example, it is argued that the role of grandparents in raising grandchildren should be decisive, since this activity - for mature people, and maturity, usually does not occur before the forty.
Attention place and arguments about the need to maintain physical health.In this regard, a large role in sexual activity, and the proper distribution of love and build the optimal system of values in life.
reaction reading public
Strictly speaking, the "mother's love" (Nekrasov), a summary of which could fit in a few paragraphs, - product-specific and can hardly be considered scientific.Reviews of the book are highly dependent on how positively the reader refers to the esoteric and considers whether it was appropriate to dilute its traditional psychology.The audience, tend to share the views of the author, reacted to the product of admiration.In many reviews stating how much human Anatoly Nekrasov."A mother's love", reviews of which are left largely women (over 80%), it is recognized definitely a useful book.Some were quick to follow the advice of the author and say that the result obtained at once: and improved relationships and the health of all family members.
next group of readers can be described as low-key, but is OK.They point out that the whole idea is correct, and agree with the proposed hierarchy of values.Among the shortcomings of the book point to the slowness of a large number of "water" and not directly related to the topic of the book discussion of old age, the meaning of life and so on. D., Which ends with the product "A mother's love."Nekrasov, as noted by readers, is very categorical in his judgments about the nature of homosexuality, about the causes of disease, as well as in many other aspects.
third category of readers reacted to the product rather skeptical.Reviews in this group ranged from angry to contemptuous.Write that reasonable ideas borrowed from the author of "normal" psychology, which researched the subject called overprotection, and dilute their lengthy discourse on harmony, freedom, personal development and other matters lacking specifics.
book are created Nekrasov ("Maternal Love"), received harsh reviews are mainly from the fair sex.It is not surprising, since the main cause of all human misery in the work he was proclaimed a woman.It is responsible not only for the fate of their children, but also for the fate of the whole world.Men at work (and husbands and sons) basically play the role of victims.In the eyes of some readers such disparity gives the author as a person to a certain extent, and far from the infantile preached by himself harmony.
Separately, it should be noted that no reviews in which the reader would have challenged the assertion that the excessive love of children - is evil, was not found.But, on the assurances of the author, the problem is deep and big.Or to that part of the audience could not get through to the author or she prefers not to enter into discussions on this topic.