Tips on how to survive the loss of a loved one

The woman is sad «The day of your parting with us, there is the birthday of your life in a new, infinite.Therefore, with tears in his eyes, but we welcome you to the end of earthly pursuits, with the entry to the place where there is not only our sorrows, and our worldly pleasures. »

John Chrysostom

It is with these words want to start today's conversation,which will present not only comforting, but give the answer to the question of mourners on how to survive the death of a loved one.


  • Foreword
  • five stages of grief
    • Shock and numbness
    • Denial
    • adoption loss and living a pain
    • Pain relief
    • Soft repeat all steps
  • with my grief coping themselves


A woman crying Unfortunately, modern society eschews all that is associated with death:

  • avoids talking about it;
  • refuses elements of mourning;
  • trying to fasten;
  • hides his grief inside.

Many people are afraid to give your child any answers to their questions about death.We fear not only of death, but even those who are faced with it.It's al

l about human psychology.After all communication with the bereaved not bring even a small drop of pleasure, but the inconvenience - more than expected.

five stages of grief

A girl in tears After the loss of a loved one, mourning goes through several stages, which allow him to learn how to manage their grief and preservation of mental health.During this period, many of these people may seem strange.That is why you need to know each of the steps to understand how to cope with the death of a loved one.

This understanding is to be able to follow the "normal grief work" and to notice any stagnation of the stages of grief, to provide timely recourse professional.

Shock and numbness

Wreath temporary extension of this stage is not less than 9 days.The man in this period is not able to take a loss or do not believe in it.He may be in a daze or a certain act fussy activities.I do not think that in the latter case, it is easier to survive the loss.On the contrary, it will be much more difficult to put up with it because it has not recognized them.

possible manifestation of depersonalization, when he ceases to understand who he is, where to be, and why there are so many people had gathered.This kind of reaction is normal and is not considered a manifestation of a mental disorder.To cope with the death of a loved one is in a moment of action will be to receive sedatives.


This period lasts for 40 days.The moment the so-called "release" it will mark the funeral, which contend that on this day the soul of the deceased leaves our world.The man is already able to accept the loss as an established fact, but his mind is not yet ready for such a step.

During this period, any talk of the deceased should be supported.A good solution or a way out of the sad situation will be able to cry grieving.However, around the clock tears have been cause for concern.

adoption loss and living a pain

Girl in bed This period is delayed by at least 6 months.The pain of loss is still there, but it manifests itself in waves.There are times when almost completely recedes, but at a certain period of time back, carrying all the same grief.This "effect" due to the fact that the person is still learning to manage their pain, grief, but not always at it it turns out.

After the first three months of the period of possible failure, which provokes exhaustion.
Whoever mourns, it seems that the greater good he would not have had, and the pain is incredibly strong.At the same time it may be a manifestation of "useful" or "normal" feelings, such as guilt.It is a defensive reaction of the body or attempt to gain control.

Pain relief

Hugs this period lasts for 12 months.At this stage, people are fully aware of the loss of close to him, accepts it and tries to slowly build a new life.Perhaps a full communication, new acquaintances.In the process of mourning the dead more remembered not dead, but alive, talking about pleasant moments of his life.It seems that man has learned to control his grief, and to live with him.

During this period, often the main contact with the bereaved.Distract humdrum conversations and try to plant it "their problems" to occupy the mind.To cope with the death of a loved one, there is no waste of recipes, but there are times when assistance from "outside" is vital.

Soft repeat all steps

This stage lasts the whole year.

the first anniversary of the origin of the possible surge of grief.Nevertheless, people have learned how to manage their feelings, which, moreover, are not sharpened.
In the middle of "this", the display is also possible resumption of guilt.However, this period is the most calm and do not require the constant presence of the one who is able to console and give at least some sort of relief - the closest person.

cope with his grief themselves

The girl is crying Asked how to survive the death of a loved one, we started from afar, describing helping others.Now let's look at how to help yourself get out of such a morally and emotionally difficult situations.Some experience you already have, based on the above stated, nonetheless.

never refuse help relatives and friends.Even if you have never voiced aloud your feelings - it's time to do it.
especially given the necessary assistance will be in the first few months.After all, life goes on, and people close to you will help to pass all the bureaucratic circles.In addition to the above, it is communication with others will quickly dull and get rid of the pain of loss.

never be alone.Aim for people to spend the night or have someone with you.At this time of vital need to feel the support and care of others, even when you are always proud of their willpower and self-sufficiency.Always wait and look for those who can cry on my shoulder and did not hesitate to her tears.

The girl draws If your grief is too large, try to visit at least one reception at the psychologist.Take care of yourself - it will help easier to survive the dark times.Surrender to the will of his feelings.Stay away from alcohol and drugs.Do not trust in the help of the cigarette.

Immerse yourself in the creative or express a sense of the material.No one and never let their grief limited to any time frame or ways of expression.No one can say when you feel better, to point out that it is time to "move on" and it is time to "take precedence over their emotions."Allow yourself to feel all that can really be without embarrassment or censure itself.Allow yourself to cry, to cry, to shout to the whole world, but if you see fit, you can hold back the tears.You are free in their actions.

Try as much as possible to smile.Force yourself to laugh, remembering something very good out of your life, or someone different.Try to find at least some nuggets of joy, of course, when this you'll be ready.