Unfortunately, our lives are characterized by the presence of many difficulties that cause problems in all aspects of social relations.As a result, we are increasingly faced with the challenges of everyday life, which can not be tolerated, and that is very difficult to solve.
not uncommon to hear from friends or acquaintances that her boyfriend or husband, "sissy", and it has to be very difficult.Who are the mama's boy, what to do if you're trying to build a relationship with a man?
- Causes psycho
- parent family
- Excessive concern for the mother
- How to recognize such a character?
- What are the prospects?
- What to do?
Despite the seeming ridiculousness of determining such thing as a "mama's boy" in the form of a full-fledged psycho, experts say about the phenomenon.There is no consensus on the causes of the formation of this type of person does not exist, but there are several major theories to help better navigate in the mindset of the men.
most important is the incomplete family, which is completely absent in the male influence in the child's upbringing.When the boy brought only her mother and grandmother, it has a negative effect on social attitudes and patterns of behavior.He sees how come women everywhere trying to copy such actions, getting the wrong direction of psychological development.
Many would argue that the child's environment, there are other men who represented the relatives or casual playmates - the same children.
in educational institutions "mama's boy" is very quiet, often not understanding the problems faced by his peers.
sometimes happens that a father is present in the family, but its impact on the child is minimal.It can be a real earner, bringing money with 2-3 jobs, or vice versa - to have a subordinate position, not having the right to vote.The result in the second case is much worse - sissy sees that Dad can not do anything without the permission of his mother, and advance preparing himself to such a life.
Father may be removed from education under the pretext that it is a woman's business, and he will spoil his actions.Resigned, he also creates the wrong line of the child's behavior.
Excessive concern for the mother
Another option is independent of the composition of the family - at the boy only affects the psychological peculiarity of the character of the mother.As a child, "sissy" is usually subjected to the following forms of psychological pressure:
With the first all is clear - excessive concern relaxes the person who provides the mother to decide for him all the existing problems in life.
If we talk about blackmail, he presented imaginary mother's illness, her statement that their behavior quickly send her son to the grave - that pressure quickly teaches mama's son to be quiet, invisible and inactive.
aggression, too much can not say - rudeness, shouting, physical violence applied to the young consciousness of the real injury that is much more difficult to cure than physical.
If you have problems it seeks to provide a solution to their mother, and tries to be closer to her.In relations with women "mama's boy" always compares them to the person who has it so much influence that often causes a lot of conflict and disagreement.
How to recognize such a character?
Despite the apparent complexity in the definition of psycho man, advance to see "mama's boy" simply by using indirect signs.
first, and most important, it is a conversation.Make sure, of whom he says, and in what context - such men are usually in place and not mention his mother - in particular when cited examples from their own lives.In fact, the mother is a kind of standard they use for comparison.You can try to keep the conversation going about my mother, giving the topic in this channel - a real "mama's boy" immediately lay out a thousand details, remembering vividly describe her dignity.
If you are in a relationship, look at his lodging.He can not live with their parents, but the mother's presence will be felt forever.The most important parameter is the wardrobe - check out what's in the closet at the man and then ask to look at a fashion catalog or website show stylish clothes.If the taste preferences of the person do not coincide with its current shape, then it is likely that he buys new clothes mom, and he did not dare ask her to deviate from the course.
A lot of information will the refrigerator - a large number of home-cooked meals, fullness of the space will allow to say with certainty that in front of you "sissy", which copies the home course of action, or simply eats meals prepared mother.
Being in a society, put it a serious choice, have to do obviously unpleasant thing - for example, in a cafe to ask the waiter to replace the dish under the pretext that it did not like.
man who grew up in an environment of total control or overprotective, are more likely to refuse to do so, finding a thousand excuses.If you put in front of necessity, he would mumble, or will pretend to carry out your request and give coined failure.
Remember that at the stage of courtship and romantic encounters no one has the obligation to the other person - adult, confident, held a man is comfortable with your self pastime, and will not hold a tantrum over a hike with her friends in the bar.
What are the prospects?
The worst thing that can happen - you get an adult child who is actually a "sissy."He did not become a full head of the family, and will not play the role of a male breadwinner.We'll have to accept that you have to perform most of the functions that are normally borne by both spouses, and to educate their own children.
you can face the fact that man is completely antisocial - he does not want to travel, do not take you to a restaurant or a nightclub, do not go to a party.It is the "mama's boy" are probable addiction, which can be alcohol, gambling or computer games.
Sometimes a change of scenery a positive impact on the people of this type of character - fell under the influence of another woman, less rigorous and demanding than my mother, they are emancipated and change their social role.The early age will help to maximize the simplified adaptation - in 20 years everything will be much faster and more efficiently than 30.
There is another issue that will concern the continuation of the relationship with the mother mama's son.We'll have to endure the daily phone calls that can be delayed by half an hour, and touch issues such as nutrition beloved child, the work of his body.
Mom if she lives nearby, could go and see the guests, to make sure that her little son is not at risk.If it finds an occasion for scandal, you will not escape years of war, which will be mixed and men.The main issue remains that a man whose side to take, and that he would try to do to resolve the conflict.
Will start the conflict on their own, which can be used by mom, as an argument against you, or put up with inferior position.This may relate to all aspects of living together - from food until the child's birth.
What to do?
you have to deal with just two basic questions - how important it is for you people, and how it can change.If you feel that the relationship eventually exhausted you, and will only lead to an accumulation of problems and nervous disorders, you should think - and whether you need them?When you decide to pursue its end, it is necessary to act gently and carefully.
«Mama's Boy" does not want to solve real life problems?We must create a situation where he is forced to do so.Entrust him to decide cases on housing, utilities, others - a man will gradually socialize, forming patterns of behavior when performing certain work.
specify the conditions of your life together - an adult should understand that if you are strong and independent, he can not lie on the couch, using your merits.The vital needs of the family should be addressed by allocating money from the general budget, and wishes everyone should earn himself.
main thing is that you have to do - build a relationship with my mother.A man must see that she approves of you and not against relations - it will take some of the functions of control with my mother in the life partner, and this percentage will grow gradually.When the power of the mother of his son remains the dominant factor in determining the behavior, try to establish a tripartite dialogue.
You have to give mama's boy to understand that he is not a little boy who can not make their own decisions, and his mother - the need to live independently without any psychological pressure.